I've lost my way. My heart is empty and I can't find my way home. Last night, I prayed and prayed and suddenly I felt it creep back into my heart. My life. My soul. My faith. It's there now, I can feel it. And hopefully, I won't ever forget again that the Lord is the love of my life and the best thing that's ever happened to me. Hopefully, I won't forget and empty my heart. I want to be alive. I want to feel.

I tried calling my bestfriend but he was with his girlfriend last night. I understand. I forgive him. But that's what scares me the most. I know that everything he does to hurt me.. I'll forgive him. I'll find some way of putting the blame on somebody else.. something else.. me.. But the thing I'm more afraid of.. is that one day, he'll do something so hurtful that I won't be able to find it in my heart to forgive him. And he'll be lost forever.

... I really need to talk to him.